


five times dan was confronted about being Phil Trash Number One and one time he owned it

by internetakeover (nymeriahale)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:10:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4965709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriahale/pseuds/internetakeover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>see title</p>
            </blockquote>





	five times dan was confronted about being Phil Trash Number One and one time he owned it

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on [tumblr](http://internetakeover.tumblr.com/post/125378467767/five-times-dan-was-confronted-about-being-phil)

1.

‘Phil trash number one?’ is the first thing anyone says to Dan when they get backstage after the panel. It’s Mamrie, but judging by Glozell’s eyebrows she’s asking the same thing.

‘Well,’ Dan shrugs, unsure of what to say. ‘Yeah?’

‘I can’t believe that got a bigger scream than anything else,’ Glozell sighs, shaking her head.

‘I can’t believe you said it,’ Mamrie pushes.

‘Neither can I,’ Dan mutters, pulling a face at the thought of all the teasing coming his way.

‘Me neither,’ Glozell sighs. ‘I thought what we had was special, Dan,’ she shakes her head, pretending to brush away a tear.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Dan responds, grinning. ‘I’m Glozell trash number one too, I promise, the Phil thing’s just a cover up!’

‘No, I’m sorry, that spot’s reserved for my husband. I can’t have someone cheating on me like that, I’m sorry, we’re through!’ Glozell exclaims. If Dan laughs a little too loudly as she pretends to storm off, well, no one seems to notice.

2.

‘Phil trash number one!’ floats the call from Dan’s left.

‘Fuck off,’ Dan laughs, turning to face Phil.

Phil gasps, exaggerated enough for Dan to hear it, bringing a hand to his chest and stumbling back as though shocked. ‘I can’t believe you’d say that! I thought you were my number one fan, I come over to say hello, maybe let you get a selfie, and you treat me like this?’

‘Fuck _off_ ,’ Dan insists, blushing a little and kicking out at Phil’s ankle as he draws closer. ‘Like you never thought that at the beginning.’

‘Well, I’d never have said anything, but you really were quite pushy, there’s a reason I started to recognise your name,’ Phil breaks off, gasping as Dan shoves him lightly. ‘Physical violence from Phil trash number one!’ he exclaims. ‘You know, I’m sure I could find someone out there more than happy to claim the title if you’re going to treat me like this,’ he shakes his head mournfully. ‘I’d be sad to replace the original Phil trash, but I don’t think I can tolerate violence.’

‘I’ll show you violence,’ Dan grumbles.

Phil just raises his eyebrows at Dan, smirking, before turning to include Mamrie and Glozell in the conversation.

3.

‘Hey, Phil trash number one!’

Dan sighs, considers refusing to respond.

‘Hey, Phil trash!’

No, it’s useless. He turns to smile at Cat, hoping that might be the end of the teasing. ‘Hi,’ he greets, ignoring Phil cracking up next to him.

‘I see you met your idol,’ Cat gestures at Phil.

‘Yeah, and I seem to have managed to make him laugh!’ Dan exclaims, eyes wide, sarcasm heavy. ‘Isn’t he so pretty when he laughs, it’s incredible, I’m so hashtag-blessed to hear it!’

‘Oh please, as if that isn’t your actual internal monologue,’ Cat scoffs.

Dan looks over at Phil, now choking on an unwise sip of drink. He’s spluttering unattractively, red in the face and hitting his own chest. He glances up at Dan and manages a beaming smile for a split second before succumbing again. Even through the choking, his eyes still sparkle. ‘Too real,’ Dan sighs, reaching over to pound Phil on the back.

4.

‘Aw, look, it’s Phil and Phil trash number one!’

Dan rolls his eyes, considers grinding his teeth, thinks better of it. If he grinds his teeth every time someone calls him that he’ll have no teeth left by the end of the weekend.

‘Hi, Tyler, great to see you too!’ he responds with a smile just a touch too wide, elbowing Phil perhaps unnecessarily firmly when he starts laughing.

‘Well, yeah, always nice to meet a fan of a friend. Are you excited for our upcoming collab?’ Tyler asks.

‘Oh, I can’t wait,’ Dan grits his teeth, surely that’s allowed, surely that’s better than grinding. ‘I’m so excited to see a side of Phil I haven’t seen before-’

‘I bet you are,’ Tyler interjects.

‘-I’m really looking forward to what you’ll come up with,’ Dan finishes, valiantly ignoring Tyler’s contribution.

‘Well, I’m sure we’ll make sure to include a super special mention for Phil trash number one. You’ve been so supportive through his career, I’m sure he appreciates it,’ Tyler looks to Phil.

‘Oh, it’s been invaluable,’ it’s Phil’s turn for faux-sincerity, apparently. ‘It’s, well, it’s been so long, I was actually just thinking…’ Dan watches Phil’s face warily as he pauses, chewing on his lip ‘I know you’ll stay loyal no matter what, so I wonder if, if it’s still entirely necessary for you to support me from quite so close? I mean, a different house-’

‘I will actually move out!’ Dan threatens, probably too loudly, as Phil’s mask breaks and he and Tyler both break into gales of laughter. Dan studiously ignores the heads turning their way, crossing his arms as he waits for Tyler and Phil to recover.

5.

‘Hi Phil, hi Phil trash!’

‘Louise, I swear to god,’ Dan threatens, glaring darkly first at her, then at where Phil is laughing - yet _again_ , surely it should have stopped being funny by now - by his side.

‘Hey, you started it,’ Louise points out. ‘You didn’t have to declare your true nature to the world so openly. I think it’s cute!’ she persists as Dan groans.

‘I regret ever opening my mouth on that panel,’ Dan sighs.

‘Honestly, it’s so sweet,’ Louise reaches for her phone. ‘Look, here, look at your grin after you say it, you’re so proud!’

‘Oh, no, are you kidding me?’ Dan makes a half-hearted effort to grab at her phone as Phil moves around to look. ‘It’s a grimace of instant regret,’ he tells them, otherwise giving up.

‘I’ve got a few screenshots saved, see,’ she tells Phil, presumably flicking through her gallery. ‘All sent to you or Dan on twitter, the fans are loving this.’

Dan just huffs, has to register his objection somehow. He folds his arms and looks away, ignoring the fond smile growing on Phil’s face as he looks through the pictures.

‘It’s a comforting story, you know,’ Louise goes on, ignoring him to talk to Phil. ‘Shows that you can start as a fan, you can even get a career out of it, but you never have to lose that obsession. Eventually it just gets tolerated.’

Dan strongly considers walking away.

‘It takes longer than you’d think to learn to tolerate,’ Phil confides. ‘But, you know, it’s worth it. Nice to have the unwavering support, the affection.’

Dan glances across at Phil, sees a genuine smile and returns it for a moment.

‘Of course, the clinginess is a bit much,’ Phil instantly goes on, as Louise nods in understanding agreement. ‘The constant Skype calls whenever you try to get away, and you know he actually came to visit my family this year?’

‘Yeah, I can see how that might be stifling,’ Louise agrees solemnly.

‘Excuse me, who was saying in a video the other day that they were excited to see me again after 10 hours apart?’ Dan demands, no longer able to let it slide. ‘I know that wasn’t me.’

‘Deluded,’ Louise stage whispers. ‘Quite sad really,’ she continues as Phil nods.

Dan opens his mouth, searching for a retort, settles for just sticking his middle finger up at them both. Apparently his expression isn’t quite as threatening as he might have liked, as both Louise and then Phil promptly break into laughter. ‘I will kill you in your sleep,’ Dan promises, wishing even he believed the expression on his face was a glare as he watches Phil laugh.

+1.

‘Hey, it’s Phil and Phil trash!’

Dan is getting far too used to that greeting whenever he approaches a new group of people, simply flips Chris off and smiles at PJ and Sophie. ‘How are you guys, enjoying your first VidCon?’ he asks, turning a blind ear to Phil greeting Chris.

‘Not bad thanks Phil-trash, how’s yours been?’ PJ responds promptly, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

‘More filled with threats than I’d anticipated,’ Dan responds cheerily, settling next to Phil on PJ’s hotel room sofa.

‘Are you threatening people for calling you by the title you claimed?’ Chris asks innocently. ‘I’d think you’d be proud of it, you’ve surely fought off enough competition over the years.’

‘He has,’ Phil fights to make his expression sorrowful. ‘Any time anyone gets close he scares them away, this is the first time I’ve been let out in weeks.’

‘I will kill you in your sleep,’ Dan reiterates calmly.

‘See what I mean!’ Phil exclaims, failing to hide a grin.

‘I forgot what a disgusting couple you two are,’ Chris shakes his head, smiling. ‘I think you’ve gotten worse.’

‘Thank you,’ Dan smirks, happy to claim that at least. The conversation flits to Oscar’s Hotel for a while, and Dan leans his head back on the sofa cushions, content just to listen.

‘So, Phil trash number _one_ ,’ Chris draws out the title, getting Dan’s attention. He sits up. ‘What does that entail nowadays?’

‘Well,’ Dan starts, pauses. He was about to lay on the sarcasm, mock it a bit, but fuck it. He _is_ Phil Trash Number One, and the people in this room know it far better than most. He can have some fun with it, sure, but perhaps with Phil rather than at his expense…

He starts again. ‘I think an over-five year history of being desperately, hopelessly in love with him is a big part of it,’ he says seriously, looking directly at Phil. Phil straightens from his slouch into the corner of the sofa, turns towards Dan.

‘Willingness to shut the cupboard doors behind him every day, to be aware of potential shards of bowl on the floor and cacti in drawers, to avoid injury and not get too annoyed when it does happen,’ Dan continues, smiling slightly at the memories.

‘Love for anime, definitely essential, and three hour meals in front of the latest show.’ Dan’s aware they’re drawing closer together now, Phil leaning into him and he into Phil. He doesn’t look away from Phil, doesn’t know if he could. ‘Endless tolerance for Buffy marathons,’ Dan licks his lips, suddenly a little breathless, chest tight. ‘Hours of video games that never get too competitive, that can always be laughed off or fucked out later,’ he’s pushing it with that one not to get a reaction from the others, but apparently it holds. Phil laughs a little, but that’s okay, it’s fond, and the motion brings him closer than ever.

‘Helping with props, lighting, sometimes editing, but almost never with ideas. Basically anything, you, want,’ Dan finishes, punctuating the last few words with short kisses. He goes to pull back slightly, get a better look at Phil’s expression, but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

‘I love you so much,’ is all Phil says before pulling him into a deeper kiss, saying it with lips and tongues, with hands skating over his arms and back.

‘Those could be fucking _wedding_ vows, are you kidding me?’ PJ groans loudly, the one to break the silence, and Dan smiles against Phil’s lips.

‘That is disgusting,’ Chris yells. ‘You two are so much worse, I wish I’d never asked!’ Dan jerks forwards, pushed more firmly into Phil, as what must be a cushion collides with his back. There’s a brief pause before the rain begins. Dan ducks his head into Phil’s chest, laughing helplessly, until a pillow connects with Phil’s face.

‘No!’ he yells, sitting up more fully to shield Phil with his body. ‘Not Phil, don’t hurt Phil! I am Phil trash, I will defend him!’

‘What. The. Fuck?’ comes the sudden question, and oh yeah, they’d left the door ajar for Cat and Mitchell to follow them in. They all freeze for a moment, then Dan turns to look at Cat from his position shielding Phil. Phil giggles, Dan can feel it where he’s ended up kneeling on his legs. And that’s it. They’re gone, all five of them, absolutely howling with laughter, Cat and Mitchell left staring in utter bewilderment. 

Dan should try open affection more often.


End file.
